In my twenties, my cousin Paul had a nickname for me; Monitor Lady. As you might expect, it’s not a flattering nickname. He called me Monitor Lady because I wanted to control everything and everyone around me.
It wasn’t until my later years that I let go of trying to control EVERYTHING. When I realized that most things I ever worried about never happened, experience weighed in and told me to just let it go! The only thing I could control, was me. I could even control my compunction to control others.
Today this letting go serves me in many ways. With a world that appears to be going haywire, it puts me in the driver’s seat to focus on the things I CAN do that will help others. In turn, it makes me feel I have the control to shape my destiny.
Giving back in small ways, paid big personal dividends. Holding the hand of a lonely soul, helping a grief-stricken friend, donating to a food bank, or giving a stranger a compliment (WOW, try it sometime, it’s incredible what type of reaction you receive), all showed me that I could do something and that I had the ultimate control to do it.
It starts with a simple action. SHOW UP. Sometimes we fall victim to feeling paralyzed and that stops us from doing just about everything. When you show up for something, you find the energy to fulfill your intention.
I’ll give you an example. You decide to exercise for 30 minutes in the morning. When the morning comes, it’s the last thing you want to do. Somehow you find your way to the elliptical machine in the garage. You’re dead tired so you tell yourself you’ll do 10 minutes and that’s it. That will have to be good enough you say to yourself in an angry tone.
And guess what, 45 minutes later, you FEEL great. You sweated, you worked out to the music, and you did far more than a 10-minute workout. And why? Because you SHOWED up.
It’s the same thing about giving back. If you sit down to write that heartfelt “I care card”, if you go to the store to pick up the gift for the sick neighbor, if you visit a go fund me page to make a donation, you’ve taken the most difficult STEP of all.
Be sure to like my Facebook page www.facebook.com/Kindconversationsnow for updates about my book, I See Old People. I welcome your comments!
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